One Year After Saying Goodbye to My Job — Part 2 (Unfiltered)
This one is personal, so it’s not going to any publication. Unfiltered content. It’s a 3 part series. This is more like my story and some life lessons sort of a thing than a design lessons thing. If you haven’t read Part 1, please do if you’d like some context.
IDC warnings, it’s raw content: Spelling mistakes? I don’t care. Grammatical mistakes? I don’t care. Something else? I just might care. Please send a DM. But this is truly unfiltered content. Enjoy?
Let’s experience it together. Will do this for every post I write after this? Might be distracting, idk let’s see — it’s sort of like my personal signature! :P
This one is less of a story and more of — multiple episodes of life that happened. I tried to cover most of it. The important ones. Also, this one going to be longer than the usual-long post.
The Pack-up
“Bye, guys” I said to my colleagues after dinner. This was the day (or maybe 2 days) after my farewell. We were about to leave. “Arre ruko” and that is when they pulled out a gift. I was like “WHAT? GIFT? FOR ME? WHY WOUL-” “Arre koi nahi, khol khol” they interrupted.
So, I took the gift. Unwrapped it. It was like a cuboid. Felt like it was cardboard? Idk. I was thinking that it must be some decoration piece. But nah. It was a polaroid camera. & you know what? Just the night before I was wondering it would have been so cool if I had a polaroid camera for the trip. But it was too late to buy one. Funny how life plays out.
On the last night, at the last moment (ofc), I started packing. By the time I was all done, it was already 4:30 am. 30 more mins of sleep before I leave? Nahhh. Let’s go right now. Tbh, it was a dumb decision. Should never drive without sleeping. That too intercity. Wont do it again.
I was about to leave Pune highway & enter the Bombay expressway, and suddenly it all hit me. What I am I doing. Am I even doing the right thing? What is ahead of my life? Ouff.
Lesson: Life is like riding a car with unlimited fuel. It will keep moving forward no matter what. In that moment you can either look back and run into a tree or you can take control of the wheel & steer it clear.
The Trip
For those of me who know me, you can skip this. For those who don’t, read it through because this would be the last time I talk about this thing. I’m tired of repeating the story of how I quit my job & travelled again & again. I need a new story & I am already working on it.
I decided to travel from Pune to Noida. A trip of 14 days or so? 1,400 kms. Had never travelled alone, but decided I needed this. To close a chapter of life.
Lesson: Sometimes, you need to close chapters in life. Do whatever you feel like to close it. Travel. Party. Dance. Whatever you feel like. But do it. For yourself.
The slightly shocking part was that I thought I will have to convince my parents. But the moment I told them, they were already onboard with the idea. Mummy was so supportive of the fact that I am doing this. Papa also motivated me! Mummy was the one who helped me buy medicines cause she cares o much for me…tuhe to pata he hai maa ka pyar…uff. And my sister? She has always supported me, even if the world is against me. Dadi too is always there for me! Emotional part aa gaya kya? Lol, Back to the story — For some reason, I thought that people would not be on my side for this. But I had made up my mind already. And so I went ahead and told my decision to people — I uploaded a 3 min long video on my personal profile. Then threw my phone on the side. I was already in the mode of who cares what others have to say — I am not the main character in everyone’s movie — I have to do it for your own sake. To my surprise, people started reacting, replying and saying its so cool whatever I am doing & what not. I was wow-ed by this reaction.
Lesson: People support you more than you think.
There was a big risk associated with the decision of quitting a job without anything else. It takes guts. It takes courage to jump. But I think I have always been that person who ended up doing the opposite thing as others. Let me give a quick example. Back in college, I did something different? For the first 2 years, I used to stay in a posh hostel outside the college. In my 3rd year, when everyone was moving out of the college hostel, I decided to go in. I wanted to experience college hostel, meet more seniors, connect with them & have fun! Another example? I worked hard to increase my SPGA year over year. I think if there was an award for consistent improvement I would be in Now see if you think I’m bragging, please stop reading. I am not. Just telling you who I am.
Lesson: It’s okay to move away from the crowd. In the end, if it doesn’t work out you will know what not to do again..
A decision must be a combination of logic and emotion. I asked myself questions like: How will I do if I am not earning, etc.? & of course I had savings. I still do. Its running out but more on that later. But if I had just taken the decision emotionally. I would have ended up nowhere. So, the point that I am trying to make is:
Lesson: Taking a risk requires confidence. Everyone has some in them. It’s all about the mindset that you need to adopt.
So, I travelled from Pune to Mumbai. Met my school friend Samyak there. He helped me fix my car — on the first day only the car broke down. Haha. Anyway. He hosted me at his place & I am so grateful for it. From Bombay, I drove to Daman. From Daman to Surat to Vadodara and then to Ahmedabad. Met a college friend there. From Ahmedabad I went to Udaipur, then Jaipur and the home! Every day I was making decisions like where to stay, what to eat, which road to take. Every day when I was traveling and not recording my experiences, I was reflecting on my past & thinking of my future. Plus, since I was alone with no known person around 100kms of me (mostly), I had to take control. I have never felt this more than ever: I was in the present. Now, many people have asked me what I have figured out by travelling solo. I still don’t know how to answer it. But I do know this — I was the happiest I have been. & this:
Lesson: When you are travelling alone — you live in the present moment. Every decision you take — takes you somewhere and you have to figure out what to do next. When you reach your destination, you get time to self-reflect.
& yes you can do this at home also. But the only different thing is, you are with known people around you. And that affects you both mentally and physically.
The Pause
The moment I came back home — I went on a 3 month break. To do — mhmm — absolutely nothing. I ended up catching up with my old friends from school & from college. I finally had the time to do all that with everyone. Why did I not have time to do that earlier? I was and still am a workaholic person. When I have work near me, I would rather focus on that than this. Anyway. But since you are at home, your family will always keep asking you “What’s next?” and that is only because they care for you. At first you can say “I will figure it out”. But after a certain point it started to get to me. I dismissed everything they would say — cause I am on a break— and I want to do everything on your own. Every decision is mine — and since I was already moving against the current in the river more than anything else — I wanted to go against them in everything. It wasn’t like I was not fighting with anyone at home, but kept taking in everything they said.
Lesson: Personal space is ultra crucial when on a break.
I know that you need people to question you. But I somehow would prefer the other way round. Plus, there is another thing. When I was taking the decision to come back home, one of the key things was to give time to my family. Now, this is something I had mapped out already. But a thing that I didn’t realise or map out — that too something which is very common and known — and important part of a home too — was that I would be a part of everything that happens at home from washing utensils to fixing a car, etc. Now, yes, there’s a big generational gap play here. I know these are important tasks at home — I won’t get into all that, but I will say that I had not thought this through. I thought I’ll be left alone.
Lesson: Life has a way of giving you unexpected responsibilities.
Then came January when I first attended a big design conference. I had been to a few meetups before but this was the big leagues. Being an introvert, I learned how to connect to people and even made a few good friends! :)
Along the way I picked up a couple of projects to make sure that I don’t lose my touch with design. To be honest, in that time, I sort of realised that I don’t want to be a designer anymore. I think my interest was bending more towards the business direction. Even decided to start MBA by 2027. One of the main reasons to back my claim of doing all this in my life was that I’m 25 and I have to do this right now. 20’s are for this shit. Let’s go. The moment I thought of this, I sort of realised a thing.
Lesson: Life only presents you with a finite time to explore different things. Grab that moment. Put things in action.
Maybe a couple of you will think of taking a break or a pause from everything. Since I have done that for a year, here are some learnings of my learnings/advises:
- It’s not going to be easy. At all. It’s so much harder than it looks. You can make a list of 500 things before, but when you are experiencing it, there might be just that 1 thing that pops up which can make your life miserable. Further, for me, what makes it hard is not the knowledge of my field or any other field for that matter — but the difficult part are things like accountability, like working after taking a pause, etc.
- Finance. is. important. There was a point of time when I did not care about how much I was earning. But before quitting, according to my calculations I knew that I had savings for a year. No. Within 5 months I had spent every penny away. I had no idea I would be organising meetups, spending money on afterparties and after after parties. Within 9 months of quitting (that is 4 more months after), I had broken all my FDs & a mutual fund. At the time of the writing this, as in — right now, I have 1 big investment left. That I can and probably will break soon if need be. Otherwise, I am fine for the next month or two. And this I am talking about spending money on my own self. I don’t have any responsibility and stuff.
- You need resilience. It takes tremendous amount of mental energy. It takes effort to keep doing what you are doing. I think this will explain it better:
Lesson: Making the decision to step out into a storm is one thing but standing firm in it is another. Then there’s the challenge of moving against the wind and snow — navigating through the blizzard until you reach your destination. Most people don’t even make it out the door.
If you need motivation — think of it this way: If you keep working hard, ofc it’s going to be one hell of a story one day to tell it to your grandchildren. But if you reach the destination, you won’t even have to bother. The world will tell the story to your grandchildren.
Woah! Ye to motivational post ban gaya. Lol :p
The Community, The Mentorship & The Talks
It had been a couple of months since the UXNow meetup in Delhi and I wanted to meet more designers and start this culture of causal meetups, so I organised one. Guess how many people came? Just one. Haha. Thank you, Varun sir! :P It was a great meetup. I learned so much from him. Anyway, I soon realised that I had to org. it in a different way, so I did multiple meetups of Interaction Design Foundation, ADPList, etc. and people started coming. Through these, met a couple of folks — and everyone had a similar vision of starting that culture of design meetups in Delhi NCR. So, founded OpenUX. At the time of writing this, we are almost 1.8k members. This was a completely non-profit thing. My personal goal was to increase the UX maturity of Delhi NCR — because I could see the potential. So I organised so many in-person + online meetups that I even forgot the count. Must be over 50? Even met 100s of people. Two of the last ones were quite interesting — started off the Fireside Chat sessions of director level designers! At the time of writing this, I am not that active on the group & the meetup scene — focusing on myself. But the action has caught on!!
The more people I met the more I got to know that people are loving this story of mine. Quitting a job then exploring what’s next. I got even more motivated to talk about it — here I am. See? Also, on the sides, I wanted to keep myself active and keep learning things. So I started mentoring people on ADPList. Took 5,305 mins & 111 sessions of mentees. Become the top 1% month on month till the time I decided to stop for a while. Yeah. I did put a pause on this. Decided to focus on myself.
The more I was telling the story to others, the more I realised that I could speak — to many folks together. Made some observations like people asking me so many questions, their heads tilting — with fascination. Could even see it in their eyes? At this point, I started giving talks. Telling not just about my stories at colleges & companies but also talking about topics like Behavioural design, my experience designing automated drone systems, design systems, etc.
After giving so many talks, I realised that I can’t keep doing everything for free. My bank balance reflecting the harsh truth. Money. is. everything. No matter how good you want to go in this world, at the end of the day, if you don’t have money in the bank. You are no good.
The Affairs
Intermission. Take a break if you want.
Are you wondering why am I writing about this? Lol, even I was wondering if I should write about it. But like I said earlier. This is not about design. This is about me. So, here we go.
Long back, I was very very specific in terms of what type of a person I am looking to date. Now the filter is down to: Are you a woman? Good. Lets go. Haha, no just kidding. I did figure out my type. Figured out a couple of patterns as well. What I like, what I want, and what not. Grew so much.
Why am I talking about this? ofc there is a life lesson here as well. The point is, I used to think this part of my life wasn’t figured out at all. I thought I was lacking something. Or maybe I wasn’t that date-able material. Wait. Material? As in like object?
But the point that I was trying to make was I used to think that this part of my life was not figured out. Lately, I discovered, though experiences that its not like I was not looking for someone to date but more like I was too focused on my work. My life was that. And I am so happy about it. Cause it taught me so many things so quickly. I also realised something.
Lesson: Sometimes in life, if you step back and look now you are living, you will find yourself looking for something and working for something else — all happening subconsciously. Can’t figure it out? Give the situation some time. It’ll come to you.
Thoda peeche chalte hai. So, on my trip I met a person. She sorts of changed the course of my thoughts drastically. She saw me for who I am. And even told me about it. I met here there a couple of times. During the day. At night. Even stroke off a thing off my bucket list: Danced on The City of Stars under the stars — among other things. We knew it would not work out at all. Different cities and what not. But the point is that I learned something from this experience.
Lesson: Sometimes you must just live in the present. Fuck the past. Fuck the future. Just. Live. The. Moment.
Since then, I’ve met a few people. Dated a few. One even got pretty intense. Almost. I sort of figured out a pattern. Tried to break it in the last one. Went pretty well. But the point here is, whatever I thought was missing from my life, I sort of completed that. Now you can say that I could have done that when I was working and stuff. Bolte raho, mera kya. You don’t know half the context. You just know whatever I am writing here. Haha. Anyway, now, I am onto the next thing. I don’t know what yet. But the next thing. Here is the overall lesson:
Lesson: Fulfilment of something you have dreamt is a big part of your life. Do whatever you want to achieve this.
There is still so much to figure out in life. I will. Eventually. Cause. (click it)
The Product & The Business
I don’t even know how, but I got the idea on a random day to build it. It eventually did not work out, I don’t want to get into the details in this post, but here is a particular situation and the learnings from it.
I was working on the idea for about a month. Talking to potential users, doing my research. When I was finalising the idea when i decided to take help from friends of mine. So, they joined in as co-founders, and we started building it. I kid you not, within a week, we were able to close things that would have taken me a month to do on my own. Problems like accountability, etc. are all taken good care of. There’s someone to motivate you. To question you.
Lesson: Having helping hands in a business gives you tremendous speed.
Just after the product episode, I thought I will start working with my dad on his startup. I came in bold, with so many ideas, and so many things to execute. But hardly worked for a month or so. So many reasons. Reflecting back, there are so many lessons I learned from it. Some even very basic ones. There are several dynamic elements at play together. But let me share one major one here.
I made a mistake of promising to do many things, but when I started working, I was given different set of tasks to work on. Which were extremely crucial at that given point of time for the company. I did not like working on it but had to. But after reflecting I think I can say I overpromise a lot of things. And that is a problem.
Lesson: Never commit to something that you cannot deliver.
Creates a false sense of hope. Your ‘will to do something should match the ability to start and execute that task.’ If not, somewhere, you just made a mistake.
But now is the time to ask: How long has this been going on for?
The NGO
Back when I was a child, I used to see people on the road begging. People as old as me, younger than me, people as old as my parents & grandparents. I used to think that I should help them. Then, life happened. And I never got to give back. Ofc, community building, and mentorship was a part of me giving back but not giving back to the people who needed it the most. Those who did not have anything. But recently I met someone who has started off a project called The First Pixel Project — teaching design to the underprivileged so that they can get jobs in this field. And I became a small part of it. I helped in integrating the OpenUX community with this project and now every 3–4 weeks, I go once to teach children design. I was finally able to do what I had thought of — as a child! Well, there’s no lesson as such here. Just that it was a part of the story, so I thought I’ll share it here.
The Agency
Let me start this section by saying this. There are times when things get hard. In those moments, it’s important to go back to the thought process of what made you take that decision. Some things will align. Some wont. But it is up to you.
Lesson: It’s just you at the end of the day
You could technically say the startup failed. For now? Forever? Who knows. But this time, something was different. I had experience. I could technically say I am not a first-time founder.
I hosted 2 major events. I had planned to stop doing things after that. But let me tell you about the last one — because it holds 2 important lessons for me.
I was hosting the co-founder of Onething Design, the director of design at BharatPe, and the R&D head of Proxgy. And I was ending the Fireside Chat & Roundtable (the first of its kind that I thought & executed in Delhi NCR) — and I said “With this, we come to an end of the roundtable discussion. If you liked the event good, if not there is food — I hope you like that at least.” and after a second or two in front of everyone Divanshu, the co-founder of Onething said “Yaar tu khudko undervalue bhaut karta hai” and I realised it instantly cause somewhere deep down even I could feel it and I said “Haan yaar, haina? Sahi baat hai” and he continued “Designer hai bhau tu…” and it hit me. I mean, think about it, I was the guy who organised the first ever Fireside Chat — that too with ADPList — that too in Gurgaon. So many senior folks showed up. I was the first person ever to bring the concept of how Nobel Laurate’s organise Roundtable and I wanted the same Roundtable concept to be applied in the meetup — where the discussions are open for everyone to join in & everyone’s an equal contributor! ….& me undervaluing myself? Why? I mean this was the idea that inspired IIT Delhi to hold the Fireside Chat with the panel on AI! And that is the moment I decided to make another change in the way I live, behave and talk.
Lesson: Never undervalue yourself.
The second lesson — when Divanshu was telling the story of how Onething’s name came to being cause it was the only thing that he and his co-founder planned to work on. It struck me. I also don’t need a plan B. I am going to build an agency & that’s it. I think it was Julius who burned down the bridges after the army crossed? I did the same. I’m all in.
Lesson: In entrepreneurship, there is no plan B.
But now, I am back in office, working on the design agency. I took a desk at WeWork — cause ofc — I always wanted to work at offices of Google, etc. have luxury at hand — and their office offered this! Plus, I went to meet the co-founders of Webshot, the place where we organised the first Fireside chat. They told me something that I think I was eagerly waiting to hear. The said “Start working at co-working space cause ghar se kaam nahi ho payega” — and so I did! So thankful to them for their help in understanding how to start a design studio!
The idea of starting an agency has always been on the mind. Although I am not a fan of the concept of the service industry but here, I am already on the beach ready to jump into the red ocean! I am motivated to deliver the best quality — the perfection — which is my tagline — Sense Perfection of the studio that I plan to open — called Keon! Right now, I am working on the legal side of things while also crafting the branding of it! But the thing is, I am all into this. Let us deep dive into a sea I have no idea about — where the sharks are already in places. Who are also eating each other. I am ready to break in. Make some space of my own. Ready to take a punch. But…
Lesson: You can only take in so much in your life. Cause life is like boxing, you’ve gotta keep swinging. You’ll eventually hit & win. Don’t back down.
Inspired by the deep quote of Rocky that my papa introduced me to:
It’s not about how hard you are hit. It’s about how hard you can get it & keep moving forward.
The only thing I am scared of (other than snakes) is: Regret. I have got this covered. I dont want to reflect back and say “Gaadi gate pe thi agar thodi aur mehnat kari hooti toh aaj mai kaha hoota”. So:
Lesson: Taking action is absolutely necessary. Gotta keep asking myself what action have I taken today & keep correcting the course of life.
PS: I forgot to add the part where I thought of started post content on Instagram. But, yeah. I tried. Maybe will take some time to build it — someday! IDK, let’s see where the wind takes this yacht! :P
I would also like to thank everyone else who helped me so far in some way or the other in this entire journey. My friends, the people I dated before, the person I last was with, and my fam! Wouldn’t have been possible without you. Also, a thank you to you — the reader — yes you, you have made it so far. Itna neeche to maine khud proof read nahi kara hai xD
……& now, here I am at WeWork at 11:11 PM writing everything so far! With this, we have reached the present! :)
What holds in the future? Up in the next story. Till then, toddles, goodbye, shubh ratri.
I will try to talk about what is coming next and stuff in the next part. Stay tuned! :)
